Julia (N.): Those joyous, serendipitous moments that remind us of our humanity

“When I first attempted sobriety, I wrote C— a letter, apologizing for disappearing. In my substance (mis)use, I disappeared from almost all of my relationships, emotionally, physically, or both. C— wrote me back with grace. He said he was getting sober too. He got my letter on the last night he’d ever use. On the first night he felt control. He called it a ‘Julia.’ A moment that reminds you why you’re here.

Julia is my Spinozian God. Friends in recovery and I refer to her often. She’s a glowing beetle on the sidewalk, a powderpuff tree, a kiss on the shoulder. A polar plunge, a piggyback ride, a painting of a baby, enamored with life. She is every reason I stay ‘clean,’ and every joy, once impossible to see, that I now hold dear.

Finding Julia is an ode to my journey. Through the collection, I honor my past and cherish my newfound hope on level ground. I utilize artworks from across time and medium, placing pieces created in my deepest periods of use and those created in recovery side by side, allowing myself to grow and take shape in the exhibition space. I’m interested in creating art that honestly examines addiction and recovery, that takes accountability for its mistakes and allows for growth. Through Finding Julia, I work towards an artistic narrative where ‘the addict,’ often discarded, gets a happy ending.”